It’s Not The Same
We have a Golden Doodle named Katie. She’s a big dog who thinks she’s small with whitish gold fur that mats too easily and a penchant for trying to climb up into my lap. She’s been a real source of companionship the last couple of months. It takes the form of me talking to her and her staring off dreaming of chasing balls and chewing bones. Not unlike Bert, although I don’t think it was balls and bones that he was preoccupied with. It serves to give me the illusion that I’m not talking to myself. And that I’m not alone.
I’ve never been an animal person. (My kids would tell you that I’ve never been a kid person.) I reward but I don’t spoil. I’m not big into baby talk and I mostly express my affection by keeping the food and water dishes full. Katie doesn’t seem to mind. She follows me from room to room watching me work, hoping I’ll be in the mood to throw the ball – fetch is a game she never, ever tires of. Bert was good at fetch too. He would wait for me to get out of my chair and then ask me to fetch stuff for him. Anyway, I’m not real fond of dogs getting in my lap or jumping up on me (when Katie jumps on you, she’s eye to eye with you) but that doesn’t mean I don’t love my pets.
I Wanna Hold Your Hand
Awhile back, I was really missing Bert. Not weeping and wailing kind of missing just I wish I had someone to hug kind of missing. So I called Katie to me and gave her a big hug. Aaaannnd – nothing. No warm sense of being loved. No satisfying feeling of reciprocated intimacy. Just Katie sitting there enduring my hug, hoping I’d play fetch when I got done. I discovered something that day. Hugging your dog is not the same as hugging your husband. As sweet and as affectionate as she is, she is no substitute for a human person.
I know many of my friends have fur babies that have places of prominence in their lives and I understand they may feel differently about them. Many people prefer their pets to people because pets love unconditionally. I’m just saying that, for me, hugging my dog isn’t enough.
People Who Need People (can you hear Barbara Streisand?)
I’m wired for community and communication. I think most of us are whether we are introverts or extroverts. The difference being whether you enjoy one on one community or you’re energized by the crowd. When God created Adam, he saw that it was not good for him to be alone, hence, Eve. Even when we enjoy long periods of solitude, we eventually need a connection to exchange with and to receive stimulation from. And that exchange is not just verbal. It’s often visual and physical. I’m sure you are aware that babies that aren’t held and cooed over don’t really thrive. I don’t remember well enough to cite it, but it seems there was a study done on orphans in so European country (I think Romania) that were never held. They were fed, bathed, changed but not nurtured. The result was a variety of mental health issues that many continued to experience as adults.
The Great Illusion
For me, Facebook has become a major source of community but it cannot fill that extra measure of connection. As I consider my need for the physicality of community, I have to admit I love Facebook! It was a huge resource for prayer as Bert was fighting cancer, it has given me opportunities to make new friends and strengthen old friendships, and it helps me to stay current with many people that I care about. But the truth is that it only gives the illusion of community. People tend to share the best of their life not the whole picture. We don’t always say in type what our faces might if you could see them. Often, we say things we would never say face to face – things that we know will offend or hurt or are just rude. Sensitivity and the art of conflict resolution become unnecessary when you can hit unfriend and it’s easier to post a meme than to share what’s really going on. I can’t help but wonder at the generations coming up. I love that technology has expanded our community from local to global but I really hope we don’t lose sight of the need to hug and be hugged too.
Neither Katie nor Facebook can take the place of real live human interaction. Only other humans in the same room can do that. I think that’s why Sundays have become even more significant to me since it’s the one day of the week I am assured of physically being with a community of people I love and who love me. Perhaps this is why the writer of Hebrews exhorted believers to be consistent in gathering.
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:25 (NIV)
Today I am praying for our community event of prayer this Sunday night called The One – www.onedinuba.com. It is everything that is good and right about a community in unity. I’m praying for great participation and immediate results in our city and region resulting from our prayers. I’m praying mild weather and wonderful worship.
What are you praying for today? Please leave a comment with your thoughts. If you’ve enjoyed this article be sure to subscribe to receive notices of new posts and PLEASE SHARE ON YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA.